ooooh the paranoia

I've gotta say...one of the worst parts about getting surgery is the paranoia that comes with recovery. In my case, the thing I'm most afraid of - now and after the first surgery - is a blood clot. Soooo one begins to Google. 

This is obviously the worst possible thing to do. But here's the rub: with ankle surgery, especially if your foot/ankle/calf is immobilized afterward, you start to get muscle cramps like crazy because you can't contract and release your muscles, which is like their main purpose in life. So here you are with these calf cramps, and then you remember that something in all that post-op literature you got said that's a major symptom of blood clots. So you Google "blood clot symptoms", and start to get anxious when you see the calf cramps you're feeling. You feel the anxiety in your chest...and as you read on, you see that blood clot symptoms are not only cramps in your calf, but tightness in your chest!! And so on...

Anyway, it's scary. I don't have answers, but omg fuck Google for freaking me out ALL THE DAMN TIME. I'm so exhausted  by it. I can't even advise you not to be scared because if it's really a blood clot you should be getting medical attention!! Ugh. So this time around I'm trying to stay away from Google, but it's hard, and I do have cramps in my calf and pains in my chest again...